Marketing and 'bragging' is painful for me. The critical voice inside my head says, 'Who do you think you are?' I work very hard as a writer, but as a person ???
I loved the whole post. I found this section especially intriguing:
"...or the encouragement of a good rejection (yes, there is such a thing). You might think, isn’t it vanity to reach for the furthest possibility? According to Stella Adler (and Marianne Williamson), it’s only vanity if we don’t try. It’s vanity to hide your light, your hard-won truths, your wisdom, your work and your capacities from the world.
So update your resume. Start stating the actual positive truths about yourself, your abilities and your work. Make a list! Say at least one thing from that list out loud every day. Remind us all of the value you bring."
I love all this! I I think it is important to reclaim bragging. (Nothing against cis men, but I don't think that is generally an issue for them in North American culture). Reminding others of our value feels like a great way to frame this process. I also think women need to stop calling other women "bossy." No, we are leaders! That kind of internalized misogyny needs to stop, asap! By the way, can you please give an example of the encouragement of a good rejection? Thank you
HI Jen, thanks for this. A good rejection is any rejection that isn't a form rejection. A rejection with a personal note is a good rejection. A rejection that is encouraging specifically even if it's a "form" rejection may be a tiered rejection. So there is a lowest tier - thank you for your work. We don't want it. And then tiers like - thank you for your work, please feel free to submit again. And then even better - we appreciated this submission, but it's not right for us, but we want to see more of your work. A personal note is even better!
Makes sense-this is why I prefer soft critique-but only when asked for/sought out. Many people are not skilled in giving feedback or diplomacy. There are ways to say no to writers with diplomacy-which stings less and is more helpful imo. I have submitted to contests where feedback from judges is included. The most useful kind of feedback for me is something like-I’d liked to see this section expanded, or the character could be fleshed out more.
I’m not down with editors who try to edit a writer’s voice. Unfortunately, criticism is part of the “game.”
Marketing and 'bragging' is painful for me. The critical voice inside my head says, 'Who do you think you are?' I work very hard as a writer, but as a person ???
Yes, this is the problem. But we must be able to practice by taking some small steps first. IFS will help with the critical voice.
Emma,
I loved the whole post. I found this section especially intriguing:
"...or the encouragement of a good rejection (yes, there is such a thing). You might think, isn’t it vanity to reach for the furthest possibility? According to Stella Adler (and Marianne Williamson), it’s only vanity if we don’t try. It’s vanity to hide your light, your hard-won truths, your wisdom, your work and your capacities from the world.
So update your resume. Start stating the actual positive truths about yourself, your abilities and your work. Make a list! Say at least one thing from that list out loud every day. Remind us all of the value you bring."
I love all this! I I think it is important to reclaim bragging. (Nothing against cis men, but I don't think that is generally an issue for them in North American culture). Reminding others of our value feels like a great way to frame this process. I also think women need to stop calling other women "bossy." No, we are leaders! That kind of internalized misogyny needs to stop, asap! By the way, can you please give an example of the encouragement of a good rejection? Thank you
HI Jen, thanks for this. A good rejection is any rejection that isn't a form rejection. A rejection with a personal note is a good rejection. A rejection that is encouraging specifically even if it's a "form" rejection may be a tiered rejection. So there is a lowest tier - thank you for your work. We don't want it. And then tiers like - thank you for your work, please feel free to submit again. And then even better - we appreciated this submission, but it's not right for us, but we want to see more of your work. A personal note is even better!
Makes sense-this is why I prefer soft critique-but only when asked for/sought out. Many people are not skilled in giving feedback or diplomacy. There are ways to say no to writers with diplomacy-which stings less and is more helpful imo. I have submitted to contests where feedback from judges is included. The most useful kind of feedback for me is something like-I’d liked to see this section expanded, or the character could be fleshed out more.
I’m not down with editors who try to edit a writer’s voice. Unfortunately, criticism is part of the “game.”
What a timely and much needed piece! I absolutely loved this.
Thank you so much! (literally a day late, but I'm so glad it's timely for you)