Unbreakable
Survivors are Strong (content warnings for everything)
While I don't often write about surviving, I identify as a survivor of multiple traumas including rape, sexual assault, domestic violence and childhood sexual abuse. Surviving has shaped my life from before I had memory. And Brave Space, my online offering of creative support, exists as a space for female and nonbinary people to be able to write anything (and create art and music) including but not limited to our traumatic experiences with support.
I am inspired this week to let you know about a new Substack for survivors, Beyond Survival with Clare Egan. Clare is bringing together survivors all across Substack, so that we can get to know each other and support each other and create community. What an amazing and beautiful idea! I love this! I thank my cousin Jen for bringing this to my attention so that I can bring it to you.
Brave Space is a trauma-informed space. There are rules in Brave Space about staying out of story, not talking about the content of what you're working on, and no crosstalk. Unless we're sharing in the Salon or during Workshop, we keep the rules to keep Brave Space safe for all of us.
I didn't think safety was possible until I learned how to create safety for myself to facilitate my own healing process. But once I learned it, my world expanded.
When I talk about my healing process, I don't mean from broken. I do not believe that trauma, sexual abuse or rape breaks us. And I’m still not sure why the culture insists or implies we are broken when maybe our hymens are broken, or are limbs are broken, but I hear horseback riding does that too. We struggle when we are assaulted or attacked, when we are raised with abuse; we struggle to heal. And bodies heal. Psyches can heal too. Souls are untouchable.
I do not believe that I was ever broken. Maybe because I don't remember a time when I wasn't already a survivor. I don't have a conscious Before to compare any After to. And I also know, not just cognitively, but I know in my Soul and all my cells that I was not at fault for what happened to me. Who is?
But many survivors don't live with that knowledge. Many of us have parts of us who judge us, criticize us, berate us, and insist we are broken. Many of us don't even believe in healing because we have parts that are afraid to heal. For as long as I've been struggling to heal (since I was a young teen), the world has not been honest with me. The world of doctors and other professionals have mostly told me there's nothing they can do for me. I wasn't even fully and properly diagnosed until this past January. I have had to educate myself and heal myself. A few things I learned…
I want people to understand:
The biological mechanisms of survival (how our nervous system works during traumatic events) induce states that lead to automatic obedience.
I want people to understand:
If I was raised to ignore my own intuition, then I have been conditioned to discount the voice inside that many survivors say they heard and ignored, and therefore they insist they are at fault. No. Some of us want to believe we could have stopped what happened to us, so we berate ourselves. But I know I didn't have the benefit of hindsight before I was assaulted.
I want people to understand:
People who are/were born female are socialized to ignore our own voice. We are taught and trained to show up as people pleasers. We are often told by my parents, and all the grown-ups, to hide our true selves. We are told to distrust ourselves and to defer to the all-powerful older male who must be right.
I want people to understand:
In order to maintain family bonds and safety, all children are biologically induced to blame ourselves rather than sever belonging. This belonging to our abuser is a means of survival. No 5 or 9 or 13 year old can just walk out of their house and figure things out. Not in this world.
I don't believe I was broken; I believe I was conditioned and trained. I believe I was used and abused and treated terribly. I don’t believe I deserved any of that. No one does. But believing you do is real and painful and actually healable.
I have struggled to find my authentic self. I have struggled to exist in my personhood in a real way. And here I am, living proof that it is possible to live a life that is meaningful and connected after significant trauma. But nothing broke me. Nothing can break me or you even if you’ve been told this or believe this. We may have been injured. We may still be struggling. But we are not broken. We are unbreakable.
I have had to struggle not just to find my true voice, but to use it. Now that I can use it, I have trained to help other people heal. I know healing is possible, not just for me, but for anyone.
The Prompt:
Write (or paint or compose or weave) from the place inside you that is unbreakable, the place that is clear and courageous, connected and creative, calm and confident. Or write from your struggle.
Write from your most compassionate and curious self.
Write a letter or poem or a fairy tale as an offering to your younger self.
You can choose to write from reality or fantasy, but either way use sensory details (sight, sound, smell, taste and touch) and include your bodily experience internal and external if you can.
Let your body parts tell the story.
Let your internal historian tell the story.
Let your judge tell the story from their pov, and try to be open to listening.
Each part of you has a story to share about why they do what they do, what they are trying to do, what they are worried about would happen if they didn't do it, and who they are protecting.
Write the part of you that is not a part, put your Self on the page.
Let your Self see all the parts that have written/spoken to your young self.
Let your Self see your young parts and all they are doing to try to protect you.
Create your very own happy ending.
Create safety and compassion and love for all your parts.
At the very end, write down a few lines to remember, a belief for all of your parts to carry with them, a gift of love and compassion in your own words that sees all you've been through and all you have inside you worth sharing.
Honor yourself with love and compassion.
artwork by Scott Sherman at ScottShermanStudio on Instagram
With prompts, grounding practices, & discussions, Brave Space invites playwrights, poets, painters, potters, novelists, memoirists, musicians & artists working in any medium to make meaning in a safe community. Begin and/or bring your projects to completion. $5-25 suggested per session. 4x/week! On or off camera. No commitment, drop-ins welcome. Try it!
Brave Space Holiday Schedule:
12/20 Friday 12pm ET Brave Space
12/22 Sunday 6pm ET Brave Space for All Humans
12/23 Monday 12pm ET Brave Space
12/24 Tuesday - 12/26 Thursday NO Brave Space
12/27 Friday 12pm ET Brave Space
Friday 3pm ET Brave Sharing Salon
12/29 Sunday 6pm ET All Human Brave Space
12/30 Monday 12pm ET Brave Space
12/31 Tuesday NO Brave Space
1/1 Wednesday 12pm ET 1st Brave Space of 2025! w/workshop!
1/2 Thursday NO Brave Space
1/3 Friday 12pm ET Brave Space
1/5 Sunday 6pm ET All Human Brave Space
1/6 Monday 12pm ET Brave Space
1/8 Wednesday 12pm ET Brave Space w/workshop
1/10 Friday 12pm ET Brave Space
Each week Wednesdays includes fast feedback for up to 1 page (@300 words) of writing or you can bring in a craft issue/ask for help with your project.
Each month there are 2 Sharing Salons: Second Sundays (730pm ET) and Final Fridays (3pm ET) for sharing up to 10 minutes of work (up to 1500 words).Opportunities:
Due ASAP, The Workshop Theatre is accepting applications for Spring 2025 Intensive Workshop! until Tuesday, December 31st at 11:59pm EST OR until 120 scripts are submitted. Please contact info@workshoptheater.org with questions.
12/27/24 Applications Due for Experimental Theater Writing Workshop Winter 2025 Suzanne Willett is seeking female or female-identifying experimental writers for a series of ten Zoom classes held Tuesday evenings from 01/07 - 03/11. Classes will consist of discussions of homework material; prompt assignments; and readings of work generated in class, culminating in final presentations. More Info Here or you can apply directly here
11/1/24 - 1/31/25 Autistic Oral History Project is offering grants of $3K to Autistic folks and Autistic-adjacent folks who want to participate in collecting oral histories.
11/1 - 12/31 Autistic Voiceover Artists is a new initiative, a nonprofit dedicated to empowering autistic adults through voiceover training and practice. AVA’s mission is to create an inclusive and engaging space where autistic adults can explore voiceover as a means of self-expression, skill-building, and creativity. This November and December, AVA is offering free online voiceover workshops for Autistic adults! Webinar schedule and more info here.
12/15/24 The Orchard Project is accepting submissions for:
The Orchard Project Performance Lab (link), for development of work intended to be performed in front of a live or virtual audience.
The Orchard Project Greenhouse Program (link), for collaborators generating new works and collaborations in a multitude of forms;
The Orchard Project Episodic Lab (link), for writers working on the advancement of original TV scripts;
The Orchard Project Audio Lab (link), for early development of scripts and ideas in the audio storytelling form.
12/17/24 NYFA grant deadline for Playwriting/Screenwriting, Photography, Choreography and other disciplines for New York artists. For $8K, no strings attached, it’s a tough application, but worth it. Break a leg!
The Playwrights Center in Minneapolis offers the following programs to apply to:
-Many Voices Fellowship - for any early career BIPOC playwright interested in spending two years in Minnesota, deadline in December 2024
-Many Voices Mentorship - open to beginning BIPOC playwrights based in Minnesota, deadline in December 2024
-McKnight National Residency and Commission - open to established playwrights outside of Minnesota, deadline in December 2024
-Core Writer Program - open to any committed professional playwright, deadline in January 2025
-McKnight Fellowship in Playwriting - open to mid-career Minnesota-based playwrights, deadline in January 2025
-Core Apprentice - open to playwrights in or recently graduated from undergrad and graduate programs, deadline in February 2025.
12/31/24 Sharpe-Walentas Studio Program rent-free non-living studio space to 17 visual artists for year-long residencies in DUMBO, Brooklyn.
1/1/25 Pen America U.S. Writers Aid Initiative The U.S. Writers Aid Initiative (USWAI) is intended to assist fiction and nonfiction authors, poets, playwrights, translators, and journalists in addressing short-term financial emergencies. To be eligible, applicants must be professional writers based in the United States, and be able to demonstrate that this one-time grant will be meaningful in helping address a short-term emergency situation. Grant decisions are made on a quarterly basis by a volunteer committee of literary peers in consultation with PEN America staff.
1/3/25 McColl Center Artists-in-Residence Programs to spark artistic growth for emerging and mid-career artists. Residents enjoy private housing, a large-scale studio, guidance, marketing support, and a stipend. They have the freedom to focus on artistic exploration and engage with the local creative community. Access to shared labs: 3D, ceramics, media, and woodshop. The program runs from September 9 to December 15, 2025.
1/5/25 Saltonstall Foundation for the Arts Residency free, stipend-supported, accessible residencies to artists and writers who are residents of New York State and Indian Nations therein. They support artists and writers working in the following disciplines: Poetry, Playwriting & Screenwriting, Photography (film or digital) & Filmmaking, and Visual Arts (Painting, Sculpture).
2/1/25 Wave Farm Transmission Art Residencies in Hudson, New York This residency will emphasize “A Radio Art Hour.” During a 10-day residency at Wave Farm, artists will develop new transmission artworks informed by access to a research library, equipment, unique workspace resources, and on-site staff support. An artist fee of $1,000 will be provided to each resident artist.
Amazing People Doing Amazing Things:
12/4 - 12/29 Get your tickets to the world premiere of the beautiful land i seek (la linda tierra que busco yo) by Matt Barbot produced by Fault Line Theatre with Pregones/Puerto Rican Traveling Theater and Latinx Playwrights Circle. Use the DISCOUNT CODE FLT10 to purchase any ticket at a 10% discount. It’s funny, it’s theatrical, it’s philosophical, it’s political and truly remarkable. Vulture says, “Audacious and quick-witted…driven by ache, it’s also never far from laughter, sometimes straight-up nuttiness.” I love this play! Go!
12/20 online 11:30 am ET - 1pm ET Center for Mindfulness & Compassion IFS Research Fundraiser with Richard Schwartz, Martha Sweezy & others. Register for Free Here. Donations Here
12/21 Transcend, a trans/gender-expansive chorus, will perform their Winter Solstice concert in person and live-streamed from NYC. TICKETS HERE (start at $5 for streaming)
1/4 & 1/5 Leap with Passion this coming January! (Either day) Get ready to leap into your New Year! Rhonda Musak’s fabulous day-long workshop to help you find focus and clarity around your life goals is transformative! I highly recommend it! Register Here!
The Femme Collective presents January, The She-Wolves and Broken Thread at the 14th Street Y this coming January! Get Your Tickets! The Femme Collective is a groundbreaking partnership between MultiStages, The Neo-Political Cowgirls, and Eden Theater Company. Together they represent a united front in reimagining the theater industry’s future. Born out of the financial and cultural challenges brought by the COVID-19 pandemic, this innovative collaboration between three women-led companies seeks to redefine theater through shared resources, amplified diversity, and community resilience.
Thanks for the shout-out and kind words, Emma. I'm so glad to have discovered your important work 💕
Brave and beautiful. Thank you for this post Emma.