SELF: Expanding Our Understanding
& Living a Self-Led Life
If we’re all walking around in a kind of fear-stupor, we are not in Self.
How can we support ourselves in order to move forward in these troubled times? SELF! How can we have more access to Self, be more Self-led, & have more Self energy? What is Self? Where, Who & How do I find Self? & How do I know if/when I’ve found it, I’m living a Self-led life?
I’ve been listening all week to a lot of upset Parts & furious Parts protecting helpless Exiles who are getting triggered non-stop. And what I know for sure is that everyone has a Self. No matter what we’ve lived through, Self cannot be damaged, although it can be obscured. Self knows how to heal us in profound ways & creates a calm sense of belonging internally. Once we can access it, Self can become a powerful resource.
The 8Cs are descriptive words that describe what we manifest with Self energy: Calm, Clarity, Confidence, Connectedness, Compassion, Courage, Creativity, & Curiosity. While there are other ways to check to see if you have access to Self, these 8Cs are the simplest way to notice.
Are you feeling Calm? If not, do you have enough Curiosity to wonder why you aren’t? Is there an upset part that is blending with your Self? If you can find this Part (some of us see them visually inside or feel them or sense them - they can show up like a headache or a hum or a feeling), ask it to step back so you can get to know it and develop a relationship with it. From Self.
Are you feeling Creative? That’s Self! Compassion? Self! Connected? Self! Confident? Self. Clear? Courageous? When you are experiencing one of these C-words, notice it. That’s you being Self-led.
Typically when we are not in Self/Self-led, we are blended with Parts. We might be blended with Managers that help us get things done. We might be blended with Critics who try to keep us small. We might be blended with anxious or fearful or sad Parts.
Parts are a normal part of our existence. There are no bad Parts. They might carry burdens that make them hard to deal with, but they themselves are not bad.
If you can realize that you are blended with your Controlling or Perfectionist Part, you’ve already found some Self energy or you wouldn’t be able to notice. If you feel any of the 8Cs toward your Upset Part, you are accessing Self. You can begin from there to get to know your Parts.
But instead of using Self only to get to know your Parts, Self deserves to be understood, relished and most of all noticed. When people say that we are more than we think we are, they mean Self. When we have the sense that we are spiritual beings, we are accessing Self. When we get a glimpse of perspective that we never had before, that’s Self. When we are able to play and be spontaneous, we’re in Self. And when I’m Self-led, I can truly forgive. I’m a big fan of forgiving oneself. Add kindness & compassion, you’ve got a better day. Add those regularly, a better life.
Noticing when we’re Self-led (or in Self) is important as a practice because if we are ignoring Self, we’re living small. The Self inside each of us provides us with access to our truest, most authentic nature, the heart of who we are.
And let me assure you, we are all much more bold and self-assured in Self. We need that Self-led Confidence more than ever right now. We need Courage & Compassion & Connectedness!
I think of Self as a spacious room with great light and cozy furniture. I can live and operate in other parts of my house, but I feel best when I’m living from Self. So much of what and who we are is inherent. The world did not bestow it upon us, and the world will never be able to take it away.
original artwork by Scott Sherman at ScottShermanStudio on instagram
The Prompt:
Characters often find Self. Usually just past the Midpoint in a narrative structure, when yet again something has happened to them (our all-gendered protagonist). At the Midpoint, they meet a crisis of “can I go on?” This is when they meet Self & realize, “I must go on…”
Typically characters have agency to keep us enthralled. They are actively pushing for what they Want, unaware perhaps of what they truly Need even if the audience/reader can see it. All of this action is inspired by the Inciting Incident that happens to them. The rest of the time, they are happening to the world, doing.
Except the Midpoint moment when another thing happens, a significant setback, a slap in the face, a wake up call. They usually get stronger once they figure a few things out. Usually they figure out their Need underneath it all, their raison d’être.
This is related to Self. Self arises, appears to them internally, & they understand their Need, what’s really important. This is why/how they can get out of the tightest spot no matter what.
Are you afraid to write your characters into corners because you think you won’t be able to get them out? Do you think your project is a puzzle to be solved? Are you in the habit of assuming that an author has to have answers? (The difficulty of having been born with a uterus may exacerbate this situation. Let’s acknowledge that we live in a sexist world. Let’s work against our conditioned inclination to pretend we don’t know things. I promise we know plenty.)
Answers are not necessary; Self is. We are a character-obsessed culture. We want Self-Actualization & Moments of Recognition (anagnorisis). So answers are less important than Self which often shifts the question with the Need. This is why you can create a satisfying ending without giving the character what they Want if they get what they Need. (Yes, just like the song.)
Do you worry about characters acting out of character? Was it in character for Oedipus to put his eyes out? Was he just that eye-putting-out kind of guy?
A shocking act that might be out of character must be motivated. As characters are pressured & challenged, they behave in new ways, some ways might seem out of character, & that’s okay. We are living in difficult times. We too are acting out of character. It’s pretty much normal to be out of sorts when we’re discombobulated. That’s what guilt, remorse, repair & apologies are for.
Allow for the human drama. Let your characters fail & suffer, caught & trapped. It’s hard to be alive! Show us how a character survives the worst of it. We want to know.
We need to know now more than ever. All of us creative people, & those lurkers who keep pushing the fear of creating away — that’s the same fear I live with only I have befriended mine — we are necessary right now! We must keep creating!
Create worst case scenarios for your protagonist. Force them to face their greatest fear. In the midst of some re-enactment of a past failure or something they are ashamed about, something they must get right this time (high stakes), let it be hard. Let it be impossible!
Make them create their change internally first by finding SELF to heal their triggered failures/exiles. Then they can actually approach their problem with new capacities truly transformed.
This internal change is the gift of anagnorisis, the moment of recognition when we gain the perspective (a quality of Self) to understand the problem anew. This is how our character fuels their drive to face X and change Y — transforming! Try it!
Amazing People Doing Amazing Things
11/7 - 23 Cafe Utopia a 90 minute comedy based on frontline unionizing experiences with Nayib Felix performing in the final four shows!
11/8 - 11/24 GO SEE Mercutio Loves Romeo Loves Juliet Loves by GINA FEMIA! At ART/NY at 502 W 53rd.
11/8 - 11/24 Get your tickets to Tom Block’s "Oud Player on the Tel" starring Mark Quiles (he played Stu in my play Winners this past June). Code ACCESS for $10 tix (only 10 available per night) Code FOT for $25 tix TIX LINK (insert code at checkout)
12/4 - 12/29 Get your tickets to the world premiere of the beautiful land i seek (la linda tierra que busco yo) by Matt Barbot produced by Fault Line Theatre with Pregones/Puerto Rican Traveling Theater and Latinx Playwrights Circle. Use the DISCOUNT CODE FLT10 to purchase any ticket at a 10% discount. It’s funny, it’s theatrical, it’s philosophical, it’s political and truly remarkable. I love this play! Go! (I’ll be there 12/5 - sit with me!)
Opportunities
The 50th Annual OOB short play contest! Submit here while the link is open! They will only take 850 subs.
11/1/24 - 1/31/25 Autistic Oral History Project is offering grants of $3K to Autistic folks and Autistic-adjacent folks who want to participate in collecting oral histories.
11/1 - 12/31 Autistic Voiceover Artists is a new initiative, a nonprofit dedicated to empowering autistic adults through voiceover training and practice. AVA’s mission is to create an inclusive and engaging space where autistic adults can explore voiceover as a means of self-expression, skill-building, and creativity. This November and December, AVA is offering free online voiceover workshops for Autistic adults! Webinar schedule and more info here.
11/11 - 11/18 Ojai Playwrights Conference will be accepting applications for their summer festival!
Due 12/1 Produce your one act at The Chain! Submissions and more info.
Due 12/15/24 The Orchard Project is accepting submissions for:
The Orchard Project Performance Lab (link), for development of work intended to be performed in front of a live or virtual audience.
The Orchard Project Greenhouse Program (link), for collaborators generating new works and collaborations in a multitude of forms;
The Orchard Project Episodic Lab (link), for writers working on the advancement of original TV scripts;
The Orchard Project Audio Lab (link), for early development of scripts and ideas in the audio storytelling form.
Due 12/17/24 NYFA grant deadline for Playwriting/Screenwriting, Photography, Choreography and other disciplines for New York artists. For $8K, no strings attached, it’s a tough application, but worth it. Break a leg!
The Playwrights Center in Minneapolis offers the following programs to apply to:
-Core Writer Program - open to any committed professional playwright, deadline in January 2025
-Jerome Fellowship - for any early career playwright interested in spending two years in Minnesota, deadline in November 2024
-Many Voices Fellowship - for any early career BIPOC playwright interested in spending two years in Minnesota, deadline in December 2024
-McKnight National Residency and Commission - open to established playwrights outside of Minnesota, deadline in December 2024
-McKnight Fellowship in Playwriting - open to mid-career Minnesota-based playwrights, deadline in January 2025
-Many Voices Mentorship - open to beginning BIPOC playwrights based in Minnesota, deadline in December 2024
-Core Apprentice - open to playwrights in or recently graduated from undergrad and graduate programs, deadline in February 2025.
Do you know someone who wants to be more creative but they have trouble starting (or finishing)? With prompts, grounding practices, & discussions, Brave Space inspires even the most blocked creatives! Playwrights, poets, painters or potters! Writers of any genre & creatives that do things that don’t start with the letter p! Brave Space is a safe place to make meaning in community. $5-25 suggested per session. 5x/week! On or off camera. Try it!
Brave Space Schedule:
11/15 Friday 12pm ET Brave Space
11/17 Sunday 6pm ET All Human Brave Space
11/18 Monday 12pm ET Brave Space
11/19 Tuesday 12pm ET Brave Space w/wkshp
11/20 Wednesday NO Brave Space due to actual JURY DUTY
11/21 Thursday NO Coaching due to potential JURY DUTY
11/22 Friday 12pm ET ?Brave Space (potentially JURY DUTY)
Friday 3pm ET ?Brave Sharing Salon (potentially JURY DUTY)
11/24 Sunday 6pm ET All Human Brave Space
11/25 Monday 12pm ET Brave Space
11/26 Tuesday 12pm ET Brave Space w/wkshp
11/27 - 12/1 Thanksgiving Holidays Wednesday - Sunday
12/2 Monday 12pm ET Brave Space
12/3 Tuesday 12pm ET Brave Space w/wkshp
12/4 Wednesday 12pm ET Brave Space
12/5 Thursday 10am ET Advanced Brave Group Coaching
12/6 Friday 12pm ET Brave Space
12/8 Sunday 6pm ET All Human Brave Space & 730pm ET Sharing Salon
Each week Tuesdays includes fast feedback for up to 1 page (@250 words) of writing or you can bring in a craft issue/ask for help with your project.
Each month there are 2 Sharing Salons: Second Sundays (730pm ET) and Final Fridays (3pm ET) for sharing up to 10 minutes of work (up to 1500 words).
Liking this post & sharing it (or re-stacking) helps me reach more readers. While I’m committed to publishing for everyone, I appreciate financial support of my work! Thank you for reading, liking, sharing, subscribing & commenting!
See you soon in Brave Space! <3