How to Crack the Un-Safe
Getting in for flow & healing
As a writer and a writing coach, as a dramaturg, and as a personal coach working with people's nervous systems and the creative visualization healing work of IFS, I notice in many situations how we all resist going inside ourselves.
We might be trying to show up in our art studios or at our kitchen tables/coffee shops or desks. We might be trying to allow ourselves to create or write or to exist more freely and authentically. We might be trying to heal from an autoimmune disease. We might be trying to solve an internal conflict, or maybe we're trying to reflect on our feelings, behaviors or nervous states. But in any of these situations, we can get scared. We are often terrified of "going inside." A part of us seems to believe that whatever we might see or learn in there will destroy us.
I want to articulate it because it seems widespread. And I have lived through it. And I think writing about it, calling attention to it, is often enough to create recognition in those who suffer with this. Often this is enough to reassure us all that we’re not alone.
Many of you know I've made some rough, rather ugly, discoveries that made me reel. There were not as many healing resources back then. I had to invent some. But healing is possible.
If you can identify what you need to work on, there's a youtube about it and probably more than just one. (For example, I happen to love the Crappy Childhood Fairy. She helped me a lot with PTSD.)
I can assure you from my own personal experience that the fear and anticipation of what you might have to face is the hardest part. But of course your mileage may vary.
Maybe we confuse our fears with transformation and growth which can also be very scary. Like pulling the Death card in the Tarot deck. We assume Death means actual death, but change can be scary too!
I have spent most of my lifetime training myself to allow myself to go inside, to be intuitive, to remove the inner obstacles to my searching, to allow myself to free-write, to invent, to unbrick the walls around myself and heal. It isn't easy to do.
Maybe autistic people have more walls than neuro-typicals, but I don't think it's easy for anyone. I recognize this resistance in all kinds of people as a kind of pain. As if there's a piece of my un-lived life just out of reach... and even though I want to grasp it, it's kinda dark, and a bit of a stretch, and maybe there's a spider?
Isn't it interesting that the resistance I feel toward showing up to create is almost the same resistance I feel toward change, toward listening and looking within, and toward taking the hard steps toward healing? Could this be something to get more interested in?
When I'm not able to go inside and open a door to the process of creating, could I take a look at that? Could I ask myself what I'm afraid I might find? Could I free-write about that? Or offer myself some other kind of support? Could I ask a friend to sit beside me while I look for the fear and the resistance the way I might look for a part of me who is afraid and hiding in yet another closet? Could I offer myself some comfort as if I'm still a child? So many parts of me are.
If it's creativity you want to dive into, I will virtually hold your hand to do that in Brave Space. If it's personal growth, I will accompany you on this journey as an IFS-informed coach. We are not alone anymore.
artwork by Scott Sherman can be found at ScottShermanStudio on Instagram
Writing Prompt:
Why is it so hard? Because creation, artistic creation, is a process that requires sustained encounters with uncertainty. Starting a play or any piece of writing or any creative act is fraught with uncertainty. Starting again after putting it down is again fraught with uncertainty. Starting the next day, if the project isn't finished after one or two sessions, is also fraught with the discomfort of uncertainty. Revising is fraught. Re-imagining is fraught. You get the point.
What makes it easier? Getting familiar with the feeling of uncertainty and letting it be what it is and writing anyway. HOW? By doing. Uch, really? Do I have to? YES. Why? Because you will kick yourself if you don't. Because Regrets! Because Life! If you honor the impulse inside you to create something, you will be honored by more impulses to create, and while it won't necessarily get easier, you will learn and grow and be blessed with more opportunities to create.
Avoid no, say yes! Say yes as often as you can to the creative impulse. The more you say yes, the more there will be. Keep a small, cheap notebook with you so you can say yes and make a small note (or stop and write the whole idea) whenever the muse arrives.
Isn't there a trick that I am missing, a way to do what I want to do without having to open a vein? Sort of. Embrace the unknown and the uncertainty. Say, that’s my job! Trust the process.
One of my favorite creative gurus, Shawn McNiff says, "Repetition encourages reverie and letting go." You cannot write the same thing twice. What are you drawn to write? What character keeps coming up for you? Go ahead, write them again, explore this kind of character head-on or from the side. Invent this character again but love them more this time - give them more positive traits. Stand in their shoes and describe them in detail - how do they wear them out? Heel first or ball of the foot? Are their shoes scuffed? Covered in mud? Get specific with this character this time around. When you start to walk in their shoes, what do you feel? Are they comfortable? Where will they develop blisters?
What are you always trying to get at? List your interests, obsessions and the words that come up for you the most. List your loves and your hobbies, and the things you know a lot about. List where you end up lately in your feed - what are you interested in these days, what is sparking you and adds to your energy? What are you wanting to learn?
There are certain things you almost always start with, and then there is what is new in your life. Add them together to make a new idea. Put in a religion, or an idea, or a charm, or a personal pet peeve. Stir the pot. Put in a thankless task. Put in autumn. Put in something dangerous. Don't worry about making sense. Make energy. Make intrigue. Excite yourself with your own weirdness!
Begin with the character focused on something specific, like a spider web in a garden. Let the character see the thing in detail. Let the detail relate to the character's desire in the character's life. Do not go backwards to why -- go forwards toward getting what the character wants. Go!
Amazing People Doing Amazing Things
Tonight! Go see the staged reading of Baggage From BaghDAD: Becoming My Father's Daughter, Written and Performed by Valerie David, Directed by Karen Carpenter Friday, 9/27, 8 pm (I’ll be there). $15 Ticket Link at Episcopal Actors' Guild, 1 East 29th Street, NYC
Read my recently published essay about late diagnosis autism…
Shellen Lubin is directing Observant 9/12 - 9/28 at The Chain Theatre, NYC.
Gina Femia’s online Novel-Writing Workshop starts Wednesday, 10/2, 6-830pm ET
Urban Stages presents People of the Book by Yussef El-Guindi 10/4 (I’ll be there) - 11/3.
Donna Minkowitz will read from her new book, DONNAVILLE, at the Bureau of General Studies – Queer Division on Thursday, 10/17 at 7 PM! 208 W. 13th St. NYC.
Beth Linck’s play Blood of the Lamb runs at 59E59 thru - 10/20, NYC.
Voices from the Holy Land offers films and conversations to inform people about what’s actually happening in the Occupied Lands of Palestine. Their Online Film Salon happens on October 20th 3pm ET.
Cristina Rose Ashby conceived of and directs Poe's Children with original music by Thomas Burns Scully, a devised exploration of grief and poetry. 10/22, 23 & 27 NYC
Julia Barclay-Morton is offering An Invitation to Intuitive Processing, a new online writing workshop, to start 10/22 Thursdays, 7pm - 9pm ET.
Deadlines:
Due by October 1st, Lanford Wilson New American Play Festival submit large cast plays for college-aged actors or submit short plays!
Due by October 7th, New Harmony applications for Playwriting Residencies are due!
Due by October 15th, Great Plains Theatre Commons has a fabulous festival every year that I highly recommend! Send them a play!
Due by October 15th, The Arctic Circle For International Artists of all Disciplines collectively explore the high-Arctic Svalbard Archipelago and Arctic Ocean aboard a specially outfitted expedition vessel. The Arctic Circle program supports the creation and exhibition of new and pioneering work, and aims to empower the creative individual while fostering the collaborative.
10/17 Artistic Fellows at NYTW to support generative artists who author or direct work.
Jenna Lourenco is looking for Autistic Theatre People for a study Examining Environmental & Cultural Challenges to Autistic Accessibility in Theatre Workspaces" through the end of October 2024 at this link!
Due by November 1st, Premiere Stages at Kean Festival send them your work!
The Playwrights Center in Minneapolis offers the following programs to apply to:
-Core Writer Program - open to any committed professional playwright, deadline in January 2025
-Jerome Fellowship - for any early career playwright interested in spending two years in Minnesota, deadline in November 2024
-Many Voices Fellowship - for any early career BIPOC playwright interested in spending two years in Minnesota, deadline in December 2024
-McKnight National Residency and Commission - open to established playwrights outside of Minnesota, deadline in December 2024
-McKnight Fellowship in Playwriting - open to mid-career Minnesota-based playwrights, deadline in January 2025
-Many Voices Mentorship - open to beginning BIPOC playwrights based in Minnesota, deadline in December 2024
-Core Apprentice - open to playwrights in or recently graduated from undergrad and graduate programs, deadline in February 2025.
Brave Space Schedule:
9/29 Sunday 6pm ET All Human Brave Space
9/30 Monday 12pm ET Brave Space
10/1 Tuesday 12pm ET Brave Space w/wkshp
Tuesday 7pm ET Brave Group Coaching 4/6
10/2 Wednesday 12pm ET Advanced Group Coaching
10/3 Thursday 12pm ET Rosh Hashanah, Acknowledging
an AntiZionist Jewish New Year, Prompts
for Writing about Difficult Things w/Sharing til 3pm ET
10/4 Friday 12pm ET Brave Space
10/6 Sunday 6pm ET All Human Brave Space
10/7 Monday 12pm Day of Mourning for Palestine
With Prompts & Sharing til 3pm ET
10/8 Tuesday 12pm ET Brave Space w/wkshp
Tuesday 7pm ET Brave Group Coaching 5/6
10/9 Wednesday 12pm ET Brave Space
10/10 Thursday 11am ET Advanced Brave Group Coaching
10/11 Friday 12pm ET Brave Space
10/13 Sunday 6pm ET All Human Brave Space with Sharing Salong at 730pm ET
10/14 Monday 12pm ET Brave Space
10/15 Tuesday 12pm ET Brave Space w/wkshp
Tuesday 7pm ET Brave Group Coaching 6/6
10/16 Wednesday 12pm ET Brave Space
10/17 Thursday 11am ET Advanced Brave Group Coaching
10/18 Friday 12pm ET Brave Space
10/20 - 10/25 I will be out of town for a coaching training with IACT at AANE.org
Each week Tuesdays includes fast feedback for up to 1 page (@250 words) of writing.
Each month there are 2 Sharing Salons: Second Sundays (730pm ET) and Final Fridays (3pm ET) for sharing up to 10 minutes of work (less than 1500 words).