Creative Ways to Mend Our Broken Hearts

Offering More Joy to the Heart's Receptors

Sometimes I have to remind myself that as a (child) survivor, my heart broke early. I've spent a lifetime resenting Valentine's Day and resisting the pressurized notion that we're here to seek, find and offer love. I've refused to allow much love near my heart. Some people are never truly comfortable with nature, and I have rarely been comfortable with love. Maybe that's why I have heart disease now.

But whether you gave or got a Valentine this past week, or maybe you - like me - decided to ignore it, apparently love is what we all need. 

I remember my 6 year old in the back of the car asking me, "what's the point of life?" And without hesitation, I said, "To love and be loved!" As if I knew. Because when it comes to my son, I do know. With him, love came instantly, like an avalanche, and scared the crap out of me! (Literally, I have Ulcerative Colitis, so no metaphor.) 

IRL, love is an actual biological by-product of giving birth which raises our level of oxytocin, known as the love hormone. Breastfeeding, snuggling (and sex w/a consenting adult) also raises our oxytocin levels and inclines even autistic loners like me to bond. 

The heart itself has many receptors for oxytocin. This suggests our hearts are built to receive love in this form. But I'm not giving birth, breastfeeding, or having sex. So where can I get more oxytocin? 

Here are 29 ways to increase your oxytocin. I’m already doing many of these things, but some are new to me, and I’m going to try them! (Slowly though, one change at a time, so I can tell if it’s effective.)

Welp, y'all know how I talked to my ovary and helped it unfurl, and later gave birth to a child who may have been conceived of an egg from that ovary. (The odds are 50-50, right?) I'm working to do the same for my heart: conceive new life, my own, and provide for a healthy future. 

Creative visualization is a tool for healing I use daily. Not just for my heart, but for my whole being and how I relate to all my parts. And creative visualization is how I write, imagining stories into being. The connection to creativity (a life-giving impulse) is the key. 

I have built my life around creativity. I wouldn't still be here without heeding its necessary call on my time. But for others, for you maybe, it's harder. For example, I will die if I ingest certain foods. So for me, diet’s not optional. There’s no "cheating" or falling off the wagon. For others, for you maybe, it's not as clear. So instead of expecting you to think as rigidly as my autism allows me to think, I make space for you. Brave Space. 

The artwork in this Substack was created by Scott Sherman

Writing Prompt:

On Characters. Picasso asked, "Are we to paint what's on the face, what's inside the face, or what's behind it?" Here are my favorite interview questions for creating characters.

I'm generally looking for 3 levels of conflict in each character. I like to work with motivational values to create these conflicts. You can use this list for values.

Internal conflict is the first level. For example, Jada might be conflicted between valuing pleasure (seeking personal enjoyment and fun) and valuing meeting her obligations (feeling a sense of duty or responsibility). Or the conflict between valuing freedom v valuing family. Or the conflict between  wanting to take a risk and explore or test one's limits v. wanting to belong. 

Add a 2nd character who has conflicting values with the 1st character. That would be the 2nd level of conflict, interpersonal. 

The 3rd level is social: conflict with society at large. You can have characters who are on the same page with their social conflict, able to work together to try to create societal change, but their other values may cause friction one on one. Once you've got a solid understanding of who your characters are and their 3 levels of conflict, see how far they will take you. And let me know how it goes!

Announcements:

I’ll be teaching “Structure is Not a Dirty Word” for the Dramatists Guild Institute. We’ll start March 12th for 10 Tuesdays, 6-9pm ET via Zoom. The link isn’t up yet, but when it is, I will send it out.

I’ll be teaching my Magical Dialogue class for End of Play at the Dramatists Guild on Saturday, April 6th from 12 - 2pm ET via Zoom. Mark your calendar!

Deb Margolin’s play “This is Not a Time of Peace” will be on Theatre Row in NYC, More Info Here (I’ll be there 2/24 - sit with me!)

If you’re looking for silent zoom writing time beyond Brave Space, Julia Barclay-Morton is hosting sessions Mondays - Fridays and Sundays from 130pm - 330pm ET. Register HERE

Brave Space Sched:

For the week of 2/19 - 2/23/24
Monday at 12pm ET
Tuesday at 12pm ET w/wkshp & accountability
Thursday at 12pm ET
Friday at 12pm ET

For the week of 2/26 - 3/1/24
Monday at 12pm ET
Tuesday at 12pm ET w/wkshp & accountability
Thursday at 12pm ET
Friday at 12pm ET Brave Sharing Salon 

For the week of 3/4 - 3/8/24
Monday at 12pm ET
Tuesday at 12pm ET w/wkshp & accountability
Friday at 12pm ET

For the week of 3/11 - 3/15/24
Monday at 12pm ET
Tuesday at 12pm ET w/wkshp & accountability
Thursday at 12pm ET
Friday at 12pm ET

Also do you prefer more about healing and wholeness? Or more about creativity? Substack says they have poll tools now, but I have no idea how to use them, so please just leave a comment or reply to this email. Thank you!

Onward,

Emma