Busy-ness as Usual
11 Strategies for ADHD
People tell me I'm very busy. There’s a lot I want to do in my life. I don’t consider my ambitions “pathological.” Instead I want to focus on the gratitude I feel toward my brain for pushing me to get shit done.
There’s a difference between being engaged with things to do and being so busy one has to rush and fret over the feeling of never getting anything done. I don’t rush. I rarely fret. I did recently over-schedule myself in an attempt to avoid a few new medical realities. I don’t like bad news, and being busy is a kind of addiction. There’s that pathology again! Let me call it my coping mechanism.
In many ways, my busy-ness is about living my dreams. I get to teach classes and run playwriting workshops! I get to dream and write in sculpted blocks of impenetrable time. I get to work on projects!
I like to be busy! As a child, my family called me the Energizer Bunny. Being diagnosed w/ADHD at 58 feels like getting really old news. And the doctors treat me a bit like I need to learn how to manage the brain I’ve been used to managing all my life. And because they are doctors, and because I’m Autistic and take things at face value too often, I listen as if they know. But the reality is - and it has taken me a few weeks to get here - I know.
The H in ADHD stands for hyperactive, and yes, as a child, I was often accused of having ants in my pants. In adulthood, and after being reprimanded (a nice way to say severely abused) as a child for having big emotions and stimming, my hyper-arousal stays mainly in my brain. For those of you who knew me when I was much more tightly wound, that’s what I was holding in… all the different thought-trains arriving at once creating collisions I often used in my writing.
Eventually meditation stopped those collisions. I can watch the trains arrive without trying to catch any of them. I can let them fly off into the clouds instead. That’s the power of a meditation practice.
My brain - according to the brain scans I just had - functions better when I'm concentrating. I don't like to be at rest. I like to learn and make and do! I already knew this, but the scans affirm it.
I have spent years spinning out thoughts like a spider trying to build something I can call a working web. But it often got sticky and tangled by the end of each day and rarely forms itself into usable text. This is why I love Brave Space so much -- it allows me to create a practice for writing that calms me, helps me focus, and does indeed create usable text! Join me!
Here are 11 things I do daily to help my brain:
fish oil, vitamin D, magnesium
getting more/good sleep
time with people I love
cook healthy food
exercise (30 minutes of cardio + weight training daily)
walking in nature (dog optional, but I recommend a dog)
meditation (there are apps now, try them!) and/or prayer
reading (while doing cardio & before bed)
writing practice (journaling and writing your truth = healing)
learning ukulele and Greek (or anything new), a few minutes a day
attend Brave Space!
Lest you think I am too busy with all of this, I do not feel as if these things make me "busy." They are how I spend my time. We all get the same amount. I don't set an alarm to wake up. I let my day unfold, (and write, submit, teach, coach and run play development workshops), but I do these things (on the list) every day. And I rely on my planner. Ok, I don't always play my uke, and I'm still working out the Greek alphabet, but these are how I choose to spend my time.
Yes, I am angry that having seen therapists since 1973, not one suggested I am autistic or had ADHD even though I have info-dumped and thought-spiralled for 50 years! But I’ve already worked out the hack to find my keys, and I know how to meet deadlines, and do the tough, daily process of completing long-term projects. (I can help you with those!)
AuDHDers often suffer with Time Blindness which often makes me feel as if I didn’t do enough in a day. So I keep a little diary. Every night I record what went well and what I'm grateful for. Little things like, "got to read w/Edward" or "delicious pumpkin soup." No matter how much time I have left, no matter what I accomplish, there are many things I love to do, there are many things I still want to make or try and learn. These bring me joy. I want them to shape my life.
Brave Space Schedule:
Brave Sched for 2/5 - 2/9/24
Monday 12pm ET
Tuesday 12pm ET w/Poetry Workshop
Thursday 12pm ET
Friday 12pm ET
Brave Sched for 2/12 - 2/16/24
Monday 11am ET
Thursday 11am ET
Friday 12pm ET
Brave Sched for 2/19 - 2/23/24
Monday 12pm ET
Tuesday 12pm ET w/Poetry Workshop
Thursday 12pm
Friday 12pm - 2pm Brave Sharing Salon
Writing Prompt:
If you are looking to strengthen your artistic voice, try a 3 minute exercise. Open a book (any book, but I prefer books of poetry because the words tend to be more robust). Use the 18th word on the 18th page.
Why 18? Chai is the 18th letter of the Hebrew alphabet, meaning LIFE as in L’Chaim! Use that word to start a brief free write.
Remember, free writing is the practice of writing without stopping for a period of time (3 or 5 or 10 minutes typically). A timer is helpful! You keep your pen or your fingers moving without judging or crossing out.
Just keep going, staying focused on the word you found and riffing as far from it as you wish, or keeping close to the word if you prefer. If you feel stuck, this is a normal part of freeing yourself - you can’t find freedom if you don’t know stuckness! Allow yourself to feel stuck, and then:
1. repeat the word you're writing until the next word comes or
2. repeat the first sentence only finish it a different way or as a different character
3. go big with it or small or faster or slower: change the angle of your approach
4. write, "what I mean is..." and go in a different direction
5. write as another part of yourself - we contain multitudes: write as a child, a son, daughter, or nonbinary person, write as a parent, grandparent, cousin, coworker, boss, write as an archetype like the Virgin or the Queen, the King or the Prince, the seeker or the soldier, the spirited or the sorcerer, the ancestor or the future the lover, the seducer, the jokester, the powerful or the powerless, the animal or the object or the place or nature or an idea, or the body organ that is giving you the most trouble lately, etc.
Consider interrogating (with love and curiosity) everyone in your current project (the characters) about how they feel about all the stuff in the project. And answer from their deepest, centered selves with compassion and curiosity. (Rinse, repeat.)
Why do this? To be more authentic; to write from your whole self; to get to know parts of yourself; to discover more than can be imagined on the surface; to make your work more compelling; to free yourself from oppressive structures and cultural expectations.
Why else? Send me your answers! Why does this help you?
Announcements:
Deb Margolin’s new play “This is Not a Time of Peace” will run on Theatre Row, tickets here
Esra Dayani is currently performing in “In the Stillness of Night” at the Tank, tickets here
Leslie Nemet is currently performing in “GPS” at the Producer’s Club, tickets here
Julia Barclay-Morton has a deadline at end of February, and so @everyone Silent Write is BACK for February (starting TODAY). Below is the registration link. When you register, you will have access to ALL the sessions in February, which will be Mon-Friday 1:30-3:30pm (Eastern time US) AND for those of you with regular jobs also Sunday 1:30-3:30pm. There is no session on Saturday.
Julia says, “You can talk to one another before the start time and after but not during. PLEASE stay muted from 1:30-3:30pm. You can use chat function if you want to communicate with someone, but if you are trying to contact me, I probably won't see it until after the time is up.
“It is free to register, and using registration to avoid Zoom bombers and also be able to contact people easier if there are any changes:
https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZEvceGrpzgrEtL0WnnecF2zVKOdCHpx3BtJ
“PLEASE ALSO NB: If you find Silent Write useful to you, and want to donate whatever you feel appropriate, you can send any donation via Venmo (@Julia-Barclay-Morton), Zelle or PayPal using email address: julialeebarclay@yahoo.com Any amount is helpful because of long haul COVID am taking time off from all paying work to focus on memoir and getting book proposal ready. No donation is necessary to participate, but if you do find yourself using this space a lot and can do, I would be most grateful.”
A photo of Broccoli as a puppy because I’m having trouble downloading the beautiful cat photos from Keren (hopefully next week I’ll learn how to manage this)!
Send me your pet pics, and I will try to post them!
I hope I’ll see you in Brave Space!
Onward,
Emma
I loved reading this- -i don't know . . it just calmed me down, allowed me to breathe a bit. The prompt has helped me also. Thanks, Emma!